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A Sunday Thought

Flight or Fight

A Sunday Thought

Flight or Fight

What is your natural response to conflicts and disagreement? Fight or Flight?

My stomach in knots, my throat tightened, and holding back tears… you might think that I was getting sick. Not so. In my mind, it was something worse. It was a confrontation. My body was reacting to the emotional turmoil going on in my head. The conflict had escalated to the point where I wasn’t sleeping at night, I had a headache and to be honest with you, I was grouchy.

What should I do? Fight or Flight?

Those of us who are fighters get really defensive. We go on the offense against the other person and we often cause the disagreements to escalate into a huge fight. Those of us that are flee-ers verbally ignore the issue because we hate conflict, and run off to let our problems fester in our minds and hearts, often leading to much more anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness.

What do you do? Fight or Flight?

There is another way to deal with these types of situations. This is what I am personally working on. It is not our human nature. We have a super power that will help us, through the power and love of God we can change the way we deal with conflict and move toward peace.

Jesus prioritized unity among his people.

Neither pray I for these alone, but them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou has sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. John 17: 20-23

This is Jesus’ prayer for his disciples. He focuses on oneness and asked God that his followers be one three time. He also asked twice that such unity results in the world’s recognition that Jesus was sent by God. You see, when we are one, we recognize that it comes from above and we are drawn to follow him and his example.

But….

You know there is a but here…

We have family and/or friend experiences, however, that don’t look like this picture. Why? Because we either fight or flight. We tend to have permanent anger, unforgiveness and bitter hearts toward one another. Let’s read these verses again:

Neither pray I for these alone, but them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou has sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. John 17: 20-23

Jesus’s prayer points us in the right direction. The way that we react to conflict, I believe, bears witness to our faith.

Are you a fighter? I am sometimes and this is what I am working on when I want to fight:

Pray and think before I speak.

Remove myself from the situation if possible.

Carefully choose my words so that the conversation changes direction.

I try unstand my feelings by digging deeper into the question, “Why am I having these feelings/What is fueling them.” Then explain them in a non-attacking way.

Confront in a loving and honest way.

Are you a flee-er? I am sometimes. I run and hide. This is what I am working on when I want to run, I mean flee:

Speak the truth in love and try to get my feelings and my issues on the table.

Discus the issues, instead of holding them in.

Whether a fighter, flee-er or both, like me, I know that we must ask God for the grace to speak the truth in love, choose forgiveness, and then move toward peace and love with those whom we have conflicts. This may include friends, spouses, and family members.

I would like to seek God more about these conflicts that cause me to flight or fight. I know that I often ignore conflicts or ignore the problems, I put them on the back burner hoping that they will disappear on their own, but they never do. They get bigger and then they boil over. My prayer this week is this:

Dear Lord, I am calling upon you today for your guidance and help. I am in crisis and need a supporting hand to keep me on the right and just path.

My heart is troubled, but I will strive to keep it set on you, as your infinite wisdom will show me the right way to a just and right resolution. Thank you for hearing my prayer and for staying by my side.

Amen!

Happy Monday to you all.

Are you a fighter or a flee-er? Do you have any advice how to deal with conflicts?

 

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A Sunday Thought Circle L Sunday Thoughts

A Sunday Thought~ 5 Ways to be a Godly Women

A Sunday Thought~ 5 Ways to be a Godly Women

You can not break a women who seeks her happiness in God.

This week I have been thinking about ways that I can become more Godly and I decided to share all my thoughts.

So how do you become a Godly person?

The Bible actually talks about several characteristics that women should strive to have—and others they should avoid.

God wants us to be: Hard workers.

Proverbs 31:10-31 has some of the best words describing what it means to be a Godly women. God also wants us to seek him first. I won’t post all the verses because I really want you all to look it up and really read these verses. I am going to share with you my favorite verses:

Who can find a virtuous women? For her price is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.  

She stretchers out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hand to the needy. 

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Being a hard worker can look different for everyone and it is not always the same in different stages of our lives, but I know that somedays I need to work a little harder. It is also important to realize that we need to take time out to rest as well. What I am talking about is making good use of our time while we have it.

God doesn’t want us to be: Too Busy.

For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. Now they that are such we command and exhort by Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.

2 Thessalonians 3:11-12

It is ok to be busy, not a busybody. If we are working hard at the right things, we won’t have time for gossiping and it is also really important that we aren’t too busy for our family and friends.

God wants us to be: Generous.

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. Proverbs 31;20

I don’t think this necessary means money, I think it really means our time. Time goes by so fast that I think it is hard for us to really give others our undivided time. I also think that staying humble is a way to show generousity.

God doesn’t want us to be: Materialistic.

I think we all have this trait in us. Right? I mean we all can struggle with this. I know that I do. It is a struggle not to compare and want what other people have.

God wants us to be: Kind.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:26

God wants us to be kind and teach kindness to our kids. I tell my kids to speak kindness to others even when they don’t feel like it. I really want to be known for my kindness and grace. How can we be more kind?

*Smile More *Give Hugs *Send Hand Written Notes*Say Please and Thank You*Give a Secret Gift*Really Listen When Your Friend Has Something to Share*Choose An Attitude of Joy*Watch Someone’s Kids, With Joy*Send a Thank You Note*

God doesn’t want us to be: Mean.

What comes to mind when I think of mean is the “mean girls” stereotype because, for a few women, it hits the nail on the head. We need to speak kindness, not slander.

God want us to be: Wise.

She considerate a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

Proverbs 31:16

My prayer is that I am wise about my everyday decisions and actions. We as individuals control what we say, what we do and how we do it.

God doesn’t want us to be: Foolish.

We are in control of foolish thoughts, actions and words. Really we are. When I think of foolish, I think of those who are not trustworthy and that how I want to be known.

God wants us to be: Modest.

Let it not be that outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on apparel;

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirt, which is in the sight of God of great price.

1Peter 3:3-4

Being modest is one of the most important aspects. Why? Well to be quite frank, dressing immodestly is like rolling around in bunch of manure. Yes, you will get attention, but it is the wrong type of attention. Isn’t that what we really want: to be loved and appreciated for who we are, rather than just lusted over for what physical pleasure we can perform?

God doesn’t want us to be: Vain.

The word “vain” can mean two can hold two different meanings: being “excessively proud of or concerned about one’s own appearance,” or “without real significance, value, or importance; baseless or worthless; futile.” There’s a reason they’re related. Just focusing on one’s own identity and own physical beauty is a losing proposition.

I wanted to included one more, its a bonus!!

God wants to be: Gentle.

This is the imperishable beauty that 1 Peter 3:4 calls you to focus on instead of physical beauty. Also, it is the flip side to…

God doesn’t want us to be: Quarrelsome.

This is another character trait I am working on. I am working on being a better wife, a better mom and a better friend. I don’t want to be a fighter. I don’t want to be the nagging wife, friend or mom.  There are a number of Proverbs that talk about quarrelsome or nagging wives, and they don’t paint a pretty picture. Proverbs 19:13 and Proverbs 27:15-16. Look them up. I don’t want to be this women at all.

I know that there is more, but I feel like these are the ones that I need to work on. It is a good starting point for me for I know that they are more challenging and difficult to attain they they might first appear. I do know one thing, that by us all trusting God’s hand one day at a time, step-by-step, we all will grow in maturity of Christ and that my friend is what I want to do. Will you join me? With all the help we have on our side, we can put our trust in God not only for eternal life but for our purpose and direction for life while we are on this earth. 

 

Happy Monday, Friends!!

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A Sunday Thought Circle L Circle L Ranch God Sunday Thoughts

God~Our Team Captain

God~ Our Team Captain

My Sunday thoughts are quit simple.

God is our team captain.

This is what I have been thinking about,

When I was in school, a while back, our PE teacher would pick team captains. It was then the captains’ job to pick his/her team. I can remember the feeling that I would get when I would get picked. It felt good. Right? Do you remember the feeling of being picked? I do and I don’t ever want to forget that feeling.

That is the same feeling I got when God pick me to be on his team. You see, strong players are the backbone to every team.

But being on God’s team requires some responsibilities. Here’s my list:

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.

Ecc. 4:9

We have to work Together. When we work together, we can double our strength and get more done.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Proverber 27:17

We have to have each other’s back. Being on God’s team is so special. It’s like checks and balances. We have someone watching our back. God will help us if we falter or lose sight of our goal, just like a good friendship. A good friend doesn’t always agree with you, what you do or what you say. A real friend is someone that is willing to challenge you, to be a better person. A team player encourages his teammates to be better players. Teamwork and friendship work in similar ways.

We have to work together. We all have something unique and special to offer God’s team. We must realize the gifts God has given to us through his love, together our team will have so many options and great advatages to share with others on our team.

We have to fill our spot. Teamwork relies on everyone knowing their position and fulfilling it.

We have to love our team mates. Teamwork requires a good foundation of truth and love. This is sustained by the forgiveness of God. We must follow God’s example and forgive each other. We also need to encourage others.

We have to be good communicators. I know that communication is key in any sport. I also know that communication is important when we are on God’s team. Prayer is the key to communication with our God.

To be an awesome team player, we don’t have to be extroverted or indulge in self-promotion. In fact, great team players have all kinds of personalities. All we really need is to be active, we need to participant and we need to play our role. To be an awesome team player, we need to put our teams objectives above our own and take the initiative to get things done without being asked. In the end, our team will win.

So what about being a team captain? Do you think that God assigns some of us to be “Team Captains” right along with him?

I do!

This verse provides the answers, and I love this verse:

Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

John 15:16

The verse is very powerful, right? I mean read it again. These are words that Jesus said.

“I have chosen YOU”

It gives me the goosebumps to be honest with you.

So what do we need to become a team captain? Do you think that God makes us team captains? Oh, I think he does and I think that we need to know what it takes to be a good captain. Here are my thoughts:

Team captains are team leaders. When God assigns us to be a “Captain” we need to listen, communicate and respects those that are on our team. Being a Godly example is to what I’m referring.

Team captains think positive. Being optimistic really means to be hopeful of something good. When God puts us as “Captain” we need to motivate those around us by saying, “We can do this together”, “I will join you.” God doesn’t want our team to fail. Positive thinking enables us to perform at a level that we would never think would be possible.

Team captains pray for their team. God knows our skills, well in fact, God knows everything and we need to pray that God will direct us in everything, everyday. Team captains know what their teammates are capable of doing and not only prays for them, but also gives their teammates opportunities to succeed.

 Team captains understand that it takes a team to win. I know that it takes a team everyday to help me and my family. Right? Yes, I am thankful for those that pray for my family and I. I am also thankful that God listens to my prayers for those around me. It truly does take a whole team working together  to win our game called Life.

Team captains know their teammates skills. I am so glad that God knows the skills I am capable of doing. He knows yours as well.

Team captains knows their teammates personally. Being a “Captain” takes time. Time seems to go so quickly, but it is actually the most important gift we can give our team. Time. Yes sitting down in the quiet, praying and listening is always crucial. Taking time to get to know our teammates is important as well.

Team captains are mentors. This one is so important and like I started before it takes time. Mentoring will help win this game of life. Listening, giving affirmation,being a friend, loving, caring, giving Godly advice, tips and instructions is all you need to be a great mentor. God is a great mentor example for all of us.

Bottom line: team captains take responsibility to lead all of his/her teammates. If God assigns us to be a “Captain” then we need to make sure we are thinking and acting for the betterment of our whole team and not our own benefit.

The most important teammate that we can have on our team is God. He is THE “Team Captain.” In this game of “Life” we are all teammates. Some of us might be assigned to be a team captain, but we all have the same goal. Right?

When God calls each of us home, we all want to see his face at the end of our race. So why not help each other out? Well this week I am stepping up my game, I want to be a team captain. I want to be a better team player and I want to pick you for my team.

Will you join me? Because I just picked YOU to be on my team and you have some responsibilities to fill.

 

Happy Monday to you all.